Tuesday, July 3, 2007

can your pussy do the dog?

Kiseichuu: Kiraa Pusshii (AKA Killer Pussy 2004)
Directed by: Takao Nakano
Starring: Sakurako Kaoru, Natsumi Mitsu, Tomohiro Okada, Tôgo Okumoto

During a grueling jungle expedition to the Okavango Delta in the Republic of Botswana, a group of intrepid explorers discover a hitherto unknown tribe but whilst studying their customs one of the team becomes infected by a big toothed grub-like parasite whilst taking a pee.

Nice.

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Ms. Tokyo does Laura Palmer.

Flash forward a few years A group of teens break into an abandoned warehouse for an evening of sex, booze and partying. Clothing cast asunder and the booze flowing freely two of the teens decide to explore further into the labyrinth corridors of the spooky building stumbling across the body of the parasite victim, naked apart from a cling film sheet. Shrugging their shoulders and ignoring the body (as one would) they decide instead to find a swimming pool and lo and behold they find one! Much happiness, nudity and top J-Pop tunes follow!

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Who let the dogs out?


A bizarre chorus of “If You’re Happy and You Know It” from one of the bathing girls left alone in the pool is interrupted by the arrival of the plastic wrapped, blank eyed, deathly white infected lady. Doing what anyone would in this situation the girl decides to start snogging her...a lot.

During this frankly poor excuse for girl on girl 'action' a scary mini-grub flies from the infected womans mouth and down the throat of the partying teen, infecting her too. A statement on unsafe sex or a rip-off of Cronenberg's Shivers? You decide!

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Beware! she is not a 'nice' girl.

Leaving the pool to search for new victims, the newly infected girl stalks the hallways and rooms for fresh victims....leaving a vile green slime trail behind her.....firstly infecting then killing her horny boyfriend (he mustn't have noticed the blank eyed stare and green oozing puss) before setting her sights on her companions.....

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A shite in a mooth yesterday.

Yup! Scarily enough this film does exist! Difficult to come across (it's usually found at the back of your DVD shelf behind a copy of Hausu and the unsubbed School of The Holy Terror you hide from your missis, probably). It's effectively a cheap and (unintentionally) nasty straight to video soft core version of (the aforementioned) Shivers as seen thru the eyes of a single, gagging for it teenage boy. Unsubtitled and with any rude bits blurred out by Japanese censors it makes for a strange viewing experience made that wee bit stranger when you realise that Asia actually has a market for killer vagina films. Tho' I suppose it beats having to watch Sex Lives of The Potato Men.


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