the best book ever written?

I think it might be.

cinema's forgotten legends (part nine)

He's the little man (with the old lady paunch) of Italian cinema, well regarded for such roles as 'Boy Scout in Train' in the classic Via Alle Grande (1983), the 'whistling guy' in 1979's Liquirizia and most famously as the freakish Michael in Andrea Bianchi's zombie opus Burial Ground: Nights of Terror. We can only be celebrating the life and times of...

PETER BARK

Little is know of the 56 year old Bark's early life and career except that his real name is Pietro Barcella and that he is a native of Rome. Originally he wanted to become a shopkeeper, but his lack of height made it impossible for him to see over the counter without the use of a box but the incident that made him turn his back on a life of retail was when a group of school children stole the Curly Wurly he was using as a ladder to reach the pornographic magazines on the top shelf leaving him stranded for 6 days with only a glossy picture of Anna Kanakis' breasts for company. It was seeing the beautiful star of The New Barbarians watching over him at night that convinced Bark to pursue his acting dream.

Dario Argento: The Grange Hill years.

But first he needed an English sounding stage name, he chose Peter (after his favourite musician Peter Tork of The Monkees) and Bark after the noise he would make as the other children beat him on the way to school (up to the age of 14, he was only an astounding 16" tall).
Noticed walking past a casting call for the movie Liquirizia by famed director Salvatore Samperi, the director was amazed by Bark's incredible whistling skills, writing the character of 'whistling boy' specifically for Bark.

The rest, as they say, is history.

"Aye son!"

Although his filmography consists of only four movies, Bark earned a place in horror history with his unique performance as Michael, the little boy with the bad hair in Burial Ground and, although sharing top billing with up and coming starlet Karin Well it was Bark who won the critics (and fans) appreciation for scarily accurate take on puberty, Oedipus complexes and high waist trousers.

"It's John Leslie!"

The character of Michael as originally written was a 12-year old boy, however Italy's ultra-strict child labour laws forbid the participation of children in any film featuring sex, gore and incestuous overtones (especially if the child character was indulging in both). Bianchi hatched the audacious plan of casting the then 25-year old Bark as Michael, who his make-up artists promised, could believably be transformed into a 12 year old boy.

Unfortunately this completely failed to happen.

"Touch mah titties".

Bark made one more film after Burial Ground, using the money he'd made to open a specialist 'short people friendly' hardware store in Rome which he runs to this day.

child or monster?

As requested by the lovely Ms. Linda Jones of the 'you've got your hands full' blog, more info on Tamil's favourite actor/dancer and all rounder entertainer Thavakalai.

Often cast as the cute kiddie sidekick, Thavakalai is in fact a fully grown adult (think a Tamil Peter Bark) and made his acting debut in the 1983 Tamil movie K. Bhagyaraj's"Mundhanai Mudichu". weighing in at 82 lbs and measuring just 4' 1" high, what he lacks in stature he more than makes up for in charisma!

hi-de-height!

News story of the week (maybe even the year)...not film/TeeVee/tat based but made my day!

The world's tallest man, Bao Xishun meets and shakes hands with He Pingping (possibly) the world's shortest!

"Awight wee man!"

Mr Xishun, 56, towers above everyone at an astonishing 7.9ft, 19-year-old Mr Pingping is a mere 2.4ft high.

Bao Xishun, a herdsman from Chifeng, Inner Mongolia, was recently married in a traditional ceremony to a 28-year-old saleswoman from his hometown. At 5ft 6" Xia Shujian only comes up to his elbow and is half his age. Sly dog.

"Awight big man?"

He claims he was of normal height until he was 16 when he experienced a growth spurt (probably due to Gamma Rays or suchlike) and reached his present height seven years later.

"I fell aff mah rice stalk!"

Mr Pingping was born nearby in Wulanchabu city, Inner Mongolia. His father claims he was only the size of an adult's palm at birth at was (probably) left by pixies on his doorstep.

Strange but true.

my favourite crossdressers.

Ten of the best cross dressing celebs just for you.....Enjoy!

10. David Duchovny

9. Edward Davis Wood Jr.

8. Crispin Glover

7. Eddie Izzard

6. Sean Penn

5. Danny LaRue

4. Ru Paul

3. Ed Gein

2. Candy Darling

1. Harris Glenn Milstead

What can we say about Baltimore's finest and self proclaimed 'filthiest person alive' that hasn't already been said before? the glorious Divine was the mainstay of many of John Waters greatest flicks.

From eating dog shit to performing pounding pop hits and flirting with Tab Hunter, there was nothing Divine couldn't or wouldn't do.

Not To Be Confused With:

The Divine Comedy

Divine Brown

Rik Waller

Diana Dors

Sonia Jackson

by request.

It's been brought to my attention that there have been no pics 'for the ladies' in a while on this illustrious blog and after Kylie's arse made an appearance today I thought it was only fair (Ok I was threatened with a kicking if I didn't) to post something for the female readers (all 3 of them).
Enjoy!

shaken not stirred.

He's not had a mention for a while but he's back with his official drink.....just for you!

The Weng Weng Whizz-Bang.

Ingredients:

Ice cubes (Fill to Top)
3/4 oz Vodka
3/4 oz Tequila
3/4 oz Brandy
3/4 oz Bourbon
3/4 oz Scotch Whiskey
3/4 oz Rum
(Fill With) Orange Juice
(Fill With) Pine-Apple Juice
dash Grenadine

Directions
Mix vodka, tequila, rum, bourbon, brandy and scotch in a collins glass. Add ice cubes up to 3/4 of glass. Stir. Fill in with equal portions of chilled orange and pineapple juices to top. Add a dash of grenadine.

Little man, huge hat.