chinned.

Good news for film fans! Freakishly faced Tory rat boy Julian Brazier's plan curb the release of 'explicit films and games' has been opposed!

Brazier: rodent
like control freak.

Barmy Brazier's private member's bill failed when the debate ran out of time as he ranted and drooled like the controlling loon that he is.

He demanded more of a say over the BBFC's membership and guidelines, which he argued had been "progressively liberalised" and also wanted a change to the system that currently only allows appeals against BBFC classifications, or decisions to cut footage, by the entertainment industry, citing "The growth in violent offences is linked to the growing availability in the media of extremely violent and explicitly sexual material."

His evidence? a 'borrowed' copy of the 1976 snoozefest SS Experiment Camp.

No surprise that he was supported by Labour MP's Keith (where's the sick child for a photo opportunity?) Vaz and Stephen Pound, who uttered the classic quote that "the sanctity of life becomes diluted" with regard to violent films.

A violent film like those mentioned.

Judi Dench-alike Culture Minister Margaret Hodge said the government had responded to concerns by asking beautiful boffin (and Unwell pin-up) Dr Tanya Byron to review whether more regulation to protect children was needed - due to report back next month.

Hodge: dirty pillows (probably).

Urging MPs to await that report she said legislation would not be effective on its own. Parents, internet service providers and others would also have to take responsibility. She was still speaking as time ran out at 1430 GMT and the bill now stands no chance of becoming law.

Meow.

It's bad news for Gunnar Hansen fans tho' as late on Friday, the BBFC rejected his new film Murder Set Pieces amid concerns about it's violent sexual scenes - the ruling means it cannot be legally supplied anywhere in the UK but can be found here for free.

God I love the internet.

1984 and all that.

Thought I'd gone back in time this morning after hearing the news that big chinned Tory MP Julian Brazier announced that 'Explicit and extreme video games and films are fueling a tide of violence in Britain' and that MPs should have more of a say over appointments to the board of British Board of Film Classification and its guidelines.

Brazier: looks like a pervert.

Power mad Mr Brazier wants MPs to be able to trigger an appeal against BBFC decisions to restore cut footage or lower a classification of film and during a recent Commons debate, he cited the example of the previously banned SS Experiment Camp (again, what year is this Julian?) - which was re-examined by the BBFC and released in 2005.

"The film shows in voyeuristic detail women being tortured to death by SS camp guards," he said, obviously assuming that it was a documentary and not as we all know a badly made Italian exploitation epic from 1976.

On the subject of the French 'arthouse' classic Irreversible, he added "If this is not glamorising rape then it is difficult to imagine what would be."

He then told MPs, whilst foaming at the mouth and stamping his fist on his desk like the jumped up little Hitler he is that: "The growth in violent offences is linked to the growing availability in the media of extremely violent and explicitly sexual material."

Obviously he has no evidence to back this up but thought it sounded good.

Vaz: Ambulance chasing vulture.

Unsurprisingly he was backed by tragedy jumping Labour MP Keith Vaz, who represents a seat in Leicester where the mother of 14-year-old murder victim publicly attributed his death to his killer's 'obsession' with the Manhunt video game - although the trial judge (and police) did not confirm her view, blaming robbery.

Vaz is particularly concerned about video games (particularly if they can get him column inches and re-elected), arguing they were different from films because they are "interactive".


"When they plan with these things they are able to interact, they can shoot people, they can kill people, they can rape women and that's what is so wrong about the situation we have at the moment."

As we all know, you can't actually 'kill' people in games because it's not real.

A fake death scene from a film: not real.

Luckily the comedy genius of John Whittingdale, chairman of the Commons culture, media and sport select committee is here to raise a giggle.

He said he had been 'lent' a copy of SS Experiment Camp (right, like it's not his own) but dismissed it as a "truly dreadful film".

He explained: "It is what is called Italian Schlock (is it? is it really? or are you just making words up now to look cool and hip you sad misguided man) and many people will find it offensive because of the subject matter, because it involves Nazis and extermination camps".

Do you think he figured that out from the title?

I have to say there is not a single scene in that film that I could argue should be banned. "Actually the scenes of so-called torture and the scenes of sex are mild compared to anything you can go and see today in the Odeon down the road."

What? anything? even in kids films? and Rambo? even tho' the Odeon aren't showing it? Generalization? Never!

However, he did say he was concerned about big budget "torture porn" films like the Saw and Hostel series of films, which he said should have been cut "more than they were" even tho' he admitted he hadn't seen them.

Mr Brazier's bill has cross-party support but would need the government's backing to become law.

Let's pray to God he gets hit by a bus before then.

my real dad?

The legendary Ted Chippington.

Enjoy.

a few new additions...

...to the creaking Unwell shelves.....Yup it's true, I do judge a film by it's cover.

Scarily there are more to come...

disturbing toys (part 1).

Not even I own these.

croc o' vile.

With the release of creepy croc shocker Black Water this weekend (and with John Sayles bombing around Glasgow during the film festival) I thought I'd share the Unwell top ten fave killer croc/angry alligator movies.....

Enjoy!

Barbara Bach vs. a big Alligator:
But which is the most leathery?



Did it eat her whole or spit it out?



Sonne, strand blut indeed Mr. Lister!



The maniac is the poor sod who funded
this Tobe Hooper abomination.



Could any film live up to this poster?



And this one.



This gave me nightmares for weeks.



Well, that's one more sequel than
Schindler's List got.



It's a croc!
It's a dinosaur!
and it's from Roger Corman!
How can it not be great?

And I bet no-one bothered to ask him about this (or The Howling and Piranha) at his talk at the GFT.

Philistines.

Best giant gator movie ever. FACT.




Sayle: of the century.

holy warhola batman!

Andy Warhol and Nico as Batman and Robin from Esquire Magazine in 1967.