deady! kenny! joe!

If you're a fan of 'the films' here in 'sunny' Glasgow (that's in Scotchland near London, England for our American readers) then you can't help but have felt spoiled over the last few months what with the almost unheard of big screen showings of Suspiria, Cut And Run, Macabre and House By The Cemetery.

Surely such a feast could never be beaten?

Tho' thinking about it I'm not sure you can actually beat a feast unless of course it was totally egg based.

Like a huge 19th century omelette (usually cooked with around six or eight beaten eggs unlike our modern day equivalents that are mostly made separately for each diner with only two or three eggs) or the like.

But if this weeks offering at the Glasgow Film Theatre was indeed egg themed it would undoubtedly have been hailed as the giant Sir Humpty of Dumpty of the horror calendar, as for one night only (or two if you fancied getting the train thru' to Edinburgh) we were treated to the spectacle of a rare cinematic outing for the George A. Romero classic Dawn of The Dead and his criminally under-rated Day of The Dead.

And if that wasn't enough to send you into a state of complete arousal then the news that Genre Gods (and stars of the respective movies) Lord Ken of Foree and Sir Joseph Pilato would be in attendance would have caused spikes in this fair cities pregnancy rates over the weekend that will be felt for years to come.

Omelette: serving suggestion.

Being one of those geriatric folk who looked old enough to see Day on the, um, day of release way back in the heady days of '86 (then jumping into screen 2 to watch Lifeforce, my 'O' Level grades suffered but my film education was finally complete) only added to the general air of fanboy glee surrounding the proceedings and, coupled with the chance to finally see Dawn, a film I've loved since the tender age of 9, on the big screen (and in the form of a sparkling new print) was too good an opportunity to miss.

Plus the venue has a top notch bar and well comfy seats.

So armed with my battered but well loved Intervision VHS copy of Dawn of The Dead, a box of ciggies and a heartful of love I bravely ventured into the city centre.

And on a school night too.

But could the event live up to it's promise?

My well loved Intervision VHS
copy of Dawn...yes I am that old.

I think everyone present can safely say a rousing Weegie "Aye son!" to that.

Even the shuffling old tramp that wandered in halfway thru' Dawn looking for a warm bed for the night seemed to enjoy himself, thanks in part to our admirable host, film journo and smart suited tie wearer Calum Waddell, a man whose affable charm and self deprecating sense of humour gave the event a warm and fuzzy feeling akin to a group of friends sitting watching a movie together at home, his gentle ribbing, playful banter and ability to play the straight man (when needed) to his guests only adds to the all round friendly atmosphere sadly lacking from most big horror events.

And the fact that Glasgow crowds are the best in the world probably helped a little too.

Foree: Sexy man.

But whilst it's great to see such classics on the big screen, the events main draw was the aforementioned appearance of big Ken and Joe.

And the pair didn't disappoint.

With topics ranging from horror cinema and politics via staying over in his pals New York 'lady lair', Foree had the audience entranced whilst Pilato with his quick fire comments on everything from his non appearance in From Dusk Till Dawn to the size of Ving Rhames cock gave the impression of a horror genre Keith Richards, giving the crowds exactly what they wanted and much more besides.

Hey Joe.

If there had to be a criticism of the night it would be that the event just wasn't long enough, oh and the fact that Day of The Dead's poptastic end theme World Inside Your Eyes was cruelly faded down before it had even started, meaning that the 200 plus Karaoke sheets I'd photocopied and carefully left on every seat were rendered useless. Hopefully next time it can run over a whole weekend (or maybe over a fortnight - with toilet breaks obviously) and culminate in a Band Aid style re-recording of that John Harrison penned classic.

Well, I can dream can't I?