Marigolds all in a row.

I don't often review the modern cinema and it's even rarer when it's a good film but sometimes you have to make an exception.

I wont give too much away - this is more of a big filthy plug if I'm honest - so read on, wipe yourself down then go see it.

Normal service will be resumed on Thursday when the Fright Fest line up is announced or when I get round to watching William Shatner's Groom Lake.

Whichever comes first.

And speaking of coming....

American Mary (2012).
Dir: Jen and Sylvia Soska.
Cast: Katharine Isabelle, Antonio Cupo, Tristan Risk, David Lovgre, Paula Lindberg, Clay St. Thomas, John Emmet Tracy, Twan Holiday and
Paul Anthony.

"You were in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong dick in your mouth".

Student life eh? it never changes. Do you remember those dark nights out clipping 'up west' just to earn a few bob for a packet of Monster Munch and a crab apple?

No?

Just me then.

Tho' it looks like poor Mary Mason (a perfectly cast Isabelle channelling a young Anjelica Huston) might be heading that way.

You see she's an incredibly talented yet incredibly poor medical student struggling to pay her bills, juggling her course work and pet bird (not literally obviously) whilst trying not to fall asleep in the frankly foul mouthed Dr. Grant's (Lovgren sporting a scary beard) class.

Everything goes tits up tho' when in one fell swoop Grant shouts at her for (gasp) having her phone in class and the bank do something obscure yet patently bastardish to her account leaving Mary no choice but to apply for work at a local strip cum massage joint own by enigmatic Billy Barker (professional sexy man Cupo).

Admit it, you would. Twice. Three times if he offered a teabagging first.

But not even something as simple as slowly stripping to her undies goes to plan as no sooner is our heroine showing off her backrubbing skills than a motely group of bad lads burst in to inform Billy (who's good bad but not evil) that one of their pals has had a severe kicking and may die without medical help.

If only they could find someone with medical training willing to perform some ad hoc, no questions asked surgery for a large wad of cash.

Mary tests her patented mooth-shite-in device on a willing victim.

It's not long tho' before word of Mary’s medical miracle has spread and soon one of the club’s dancers, the Betty Boop obsessed Beatress (Risk running the gauntlet between sexy and sinister in a performance that will haunt your sweatiest dreams for at least a month) approaches her offering even more cash for some extreme body-modification work for a friend.

Doin' the do!

Success follows success and soon Mary is attracting the attention of high-paying body modification clientele from across the globe but her world is soon brought crumbling down after a terrible incident that leaves her life changed for ever.

Psychologically scarred and more intense than ever Bloody Mary, as her fans have come to know her, responds to the situation the only way she knows how.

Expect some violence.

Possibly.

Possibly the greatest film artwork I have ever seen.

To paraphrase Stephen King "I have seen the future of horror and it's twin shaped!"

One of the most entertaining horror films I've seen in an age, American Mary is quite possibly one of the most sickly sweet experiences you'll have in the cinema for a long time, take note Messrs Derrickson, Parker et al, this is how to make a movie.

From the fruitily freakish minds of the frankly fantastic Soska sisters, American Mary confidentially builds on the strength and originality shown in their debut movie Dead Hooker in a Trunk but this time adds a more confident, slick style and technique which not only belies the film's low budget but will go a long way to cementing their status as the most original creators working in the horror field today.

I've seen the future of not just horror but my home life too.

The twincentric script coolly explores the duality within the individual whilst cleverly having each player mirrored by other characters within the American Mary world, giving viewers the added experience of a glimpse into the world of ID twins as well as a blackly comic tale of medical mayhem and skimpy outfits which can only be seen as a bonus in anyone's books.

Plus one of the characters (who will remain nameless) has quite possibly the smoothest and milkiest thighs ever seen on the big screen.

Every performance is pitch perfect from the unforgettable Tristan Risk as the sweetly sexy Beatress who alongside Paula Lindberg as her friend Ruby give the film it's pure heart that shines brightly amongst the darkness enveloping the storyline as it runs it's course.

Jen and Sylvia, cinema salutes you.