a true story.

 I was watching Zombieland.

Alone.


Matinee, about a week after it was released; I come early and find the perfect seat.


A couple others filter in, one person sits right behind me.


About halfway through the movie, I start to hear moaning from behind me.




Just keep watching the movie and eating my popcorn.




Bill Murray scene comes up.




Moaning increases behind me.




Bill Murray dies in the movie.




Moaning comes to a climax, jism hits my hair.




Turn around with a disgusted look on my face.




Bill Murray is looking at me, pants around his ankles, semi-erect penis in hand, dripping with semen.




He says “nobody will ever believe you.”




I turn back around and finish watching the movie.




It was fine, everything was fine.