jurassic lark.

The first in an ongoing series featuring the characters from Jurassic Park and their insect equivalents.

Enjoy.

More reviews soon I promise.

rejected pitches 2.

Just got an Email back from Marvel/20th Century Fox, the bastards have rejected my pitch for the X-Men-First Class sequel.



I still believe it could be the greatest superhero movie since The Phantom.

Here goes:

Pimping professor Charles Xavier decides to build a brothel as a tool to making humans get along with mutants and the like.

Storm, Rogue, Jubilee, Cyclops, Jean and others, Xavier’s former students, will help by working in the Brothel.

Magneto is responsible for looking over Xavier’s Brothel, rating the establishment’s quality from time to time, and helping him by attracting richer and more powerful costumers.

Reed Richards opens a downmarket brothel, staffed by street urchins, homeless teens and former members of Alpha flight next door.

Super heroic rivalry and hilarity ensues.

And if you're reading this Mark Millar, you can have this for a packet of Silk Cut and a tenner.

more frightening emails....

Received this via email this morning, doesn't beat the dinosaur sex question but comes close.

Dear Lamont,
My neighbour made this and was asking my advice…is there any way he can use it like a voodoo doll so a girl feels him having sex with her? also can he bind the spirit of a dead child or dog to it? If there's one person I thought would know about such things it would be you.
Thanks.

Well dear readers it's over to you.

people you fancy but shouldn't (part 42).

I'd actually never noticed how hot Katie Holmes was till I saw her crying...

 

....and as for the 'shot to fuck and needing a hug pic' pic.....ding dong!

Holmes: Too weak/drunk/drugged to say no....the perfect date.

Plus anyone who can walk past that sour-faced screaming Scientology steeped she-creature that is Suri Cruise  without giving her a kicking is worth a couple of minutes of your time in anyone’s books.

"Mom, Dad said that you're wasting your time making movies! You wanna make real money, you gotta start a religion!"

Anyway Katie, you know where I am if you need a shoulder to cry on.