honey to the b.

Everybody (and their canine companion) has been raving about this little gem so I thought I’d give it a go.

But did I enjoy it?

Hint: it's a fairly short review so that usually means yes.

Will wonders ever cease?

Honeymoon (2014).
Dir: Leigh Janiak.
Cast:  Rose Leslie, Harry Treadaway, Ben Huber and Hanna Brown.

You taste the same. But you're different.

The sickeningly saccharine Bea (independence hating Game of Thrones star and sister of John, Leslie) and Paul (Penny Dreadful's Victor Frankenstein Treadaway) are heading off to a cosy rustic cabin set deep in a secluded forest near the town she was bought up in ready to celebrate their recent wedding.

As a treat upon arrival Bea decides to take her man to eat at her favourite restaurant whose redneck owner Will (Huber) happens to not only be her childhood beau but a wee bit of a mentalist too.

Hmmm.....she's maybe not thought this thru' has she?

"I'm sorry but it's my womans period."

With his mousy wife squeaking around in the background Will does his best to scare the happy couple away inbetween hugging Bea, sniffing his baseball cap and muttering slightly cryptic comments regarding the soup of the day ultimately persuading Paul that they should maybe stick to cheese on toast for tea.

Six rounds of cooked bread, a packet of Digestive biscuits and a shag later and everything seems back to normal for our cuddling couple, until later that night when Bea goes missing, reappearing the next day wondering naked in the woods with no idea as to how she got there and a nasty smell coming from her lady garden.

Scary.

Your mums fingers yesterday.

Claiming that she was sleepwalking due to the stress of getting hitched to a scientist obsessed with reanimating corpses Bea does her best to make the rest of the honeymoon go swimmingly.

However, as the days roll by, Bea's behaviour becomes wackier and battier, from having to keep a note of her husbands name and address in case she forgets them to suffering from irritating itches in her private place (and I don't mean Ipswich) whilst Paul (always the bright one) begins to suspect that weird Will may have had a hand (or at least a few of his dirty big sausage fingers) in the whole situation.

"I love you....could it be magic?"

 Alas, if only it were that simple.

Cue creepy shadows, random lights and the spookiest Post-It notes you'll see on celluloid this year as our young lovers vacation heads toward a genuinely unnerving climax.

Which is slightly spoiled by a really unnecessary coda but never mind.

Admit it, we all would even if she voted against Scottish independence and was covered in scabs.

 

 

 

 Writer-director Leigh Janiak's debut feature is a breath of much needed fresh air (literally) after almost a year of half-baked found footage bollocks and poorly made slasher shite (I'm looking at you House of The Witch Doctor) which within its short running time gives you hope for the future of intelligent horror.

From it's small yet pitch perfect cast to it's cut down to a minimum plot, Honeymoon's script (by Janiak and Phil Graziadei) has echoes of Rosemary’s Baby and, to a point Invasion of the Bodysnatchers in it's DNA which let's be honest are a much more exciting inspiration than a dozen 'alleged' true haunting hodgepodges.

Simple, scary and surprisingly effective, the only downside for me was the aforementioned second climax, after having only hinted at the otherworldly forces at play throughout the film, it seemed a shame to signpost the finale so blatantly.

Personally, cutting to black after the lake sequence would have been a far more effective and shocking way to finish the film.

But what do I know?

I mean I love Lifeforce.

See it, support it and fingers crossed for Leigh Janiak's next project.