Sunday, October 29, 2017

death by stereo.

Just in time for Halloween, 3 vicious volumes of killer beats, psychotic sounds and sinister samples for your aural delight.


then turn off the lights, play loud and enjoy.

Friday, October 20, 2017

people you fancy but shouldn't (part 74).

Star Trek: Discovery's Cadet Sylvia Tilly as played by Mary Wiseman.

Thursday, October 12, 2017


See Sergio Martino's classic giallo film complete with a performance by The Agents of Evolution and live VJ set and groovy tunes by myself and the enigmatic Doctor Peyton Alucard Reed III all under the banner of Profondo Mondo...

Tickets available here.

Friday, October 6, 2017

something for the weekend sir?

...As a wee Friday treat here's a vintage death certificate handed out to patrons who attended this fantastic double bill from times gone by....

Unfortunately neither of these movies will feature in my 31 days of horror.


Wednesday, October 4, 2017

gimme sum sugar baby....

Every opening to The Apprentice ever:

We're here at 10 Downing Street today and I’m sure you know who lives here.

Now Theresa May is known for many things, but mostly people know her for her love of shitting in the mouths of the poor and pissing on human rights.

Oh yes....and hating foreigners.
So today we're tasking you to create a new fragrance for her.

And obviously you have to be careful that she doesn't choke on it seeing as she seems to have a very tickly throat right now.

Now the men's team this year is quite surprisingly not as shit as usual so to make sure the viewing figures stay up we're adding some of the women to the team to create a bit of drama but just in case some of the men aren't deterred by this change, I’m throwing them the most sensible one into the women's team so I can watch them get shouted at even though they'll be the only one with any rational ideas.

Off you go.

Did I ever tell you how I made my first million before the age of 12 by punting my arse out of the back of a wheelbarrow?

doggy style.

The history of dogs in comic form.


With thanks to Wings Over Scotland.