hail to the king!
Celebrate the 70th birthday of The King of The Monsters with 60 minutes of Gojira grooves, Kaiju cuts and massive monster mixes.
Celebrate the 70th birthday of The King of The Monsters with 60 minutes of Gojira grooves, Kaiju cuts and massive monster mixes.
Posted by Ashton Lamont at 2:30 AM 0 comments
Labels: action, big animals, fight, film, japan, music, sci-fi
Posted by Ashton Lamont at 11:48 AM 0 comments
Labels: 31 days of horror, film, horror, John Carpenter
She'll never fit that lollypop in her mouth in one go. |
"Chase me now!" |
"Are you the farmer?" |
Manuela Velasco - button nosed perfection. |
"Screams from mah mooth!" |
This is how your mum and dad celebrate your birthday. |
Scottish politics in a nutshell. |
Manuela Velasco - pointing. |
No catty captions as I genuinely love this pair. |
"Hello! It's the blind man!" |
Bridezilla! |
Leticia Dolera - She follows me on X. Fact. |
Your nan and her sexy lap dance yesterday. |
Jimmy Hill gettin' jiggy wid it. |
Rain in mah face. |
Manuela Velasco - High hair. |
Posted by Ashton Lamont at 7:00 AM 0 comments
Labels: 31 days of horror, action, big animals, film, music, reviews, scares, science, sexyness, spain, the horror
Thought I'd better have at least one certified classic in this years 31 Days of Horror and you can do much worse than this beauty.
Enjoy.
Messiah of Evil (AKA Dead People, 1973).
Dir: Willard Huyck and Gloria Katz.
Cast: Michael Greer, Marianna Hill, Joy Bang, Anitra Ford, Royal Dano, Elisha Cook Jr., Charles Dierkop, Bennie Robinson and Walter Hill.
Our tale of terror opens with Walter Hill - director of The Warriors (no, really) sweatily running thru the narrow backstreets of Anytown USA in the dead of night, pursued by an unseen assailant before reaching a deserted corner and collapsing in a heap.
He probably had a vision from the future of the critical reaction he'd get for Geronimo: An American Legend which, to be fair would floor anyone.
Suddenly the gate of a nearby yard opens and a young horse-faced girl pops out and takes Walter's hand leading him into the yard and to the swimming pool where he splashes his face in an attempt to calm himself.
As he turns to thank the girl she pulls out a cut-throat razor and - yes - cuts his throat.
Ouch.
"Howdy neigh-bour!" |
And with that we jump (cinematically not literally mind) to the local insane asylum, where we find Arletty (Hill from Blood Beach, The Baby and High Plains Drifter among other classics), a young woman who was found wandering the highway after she'd gone missing searching for her estranged father.
And so begins our story good and proper (via wibbly wobbly flashback effects) with Arletty traveling to the beach-side town of Point Dune before stopping for directions at a local gas station where broken nosed attendant Bob (Dierkop from Star Trek) nervously fills her tank (ooeerr) before warning her away.
As she drives off a blood red pick up arrives, driven by a scary albino bloke (Robinson, father of Anne) and filled with corpses.
It'll come as no surprise to find that Bob soon joins them.
Arriving in town Arletty soon settlles in to her dad's frankly fantastically decorated beachfront house - filled as it is with wall to wall murals of people, streets scenes and even a painting of an escalator with the whole thing set off with a floating bed (on chains) in the middle of the main room.
Seriously the house is literally a character in it's own right, kudos to art director (and brother-in-law of David Lynch) Jack Fisk, he of Phantom of The Paradise, Mulholland Drive and Playstation 2: The Third Place fame (among others) - probably one of the most incredible production designers ever AND he's married to Sissy Spacek.
No I'm not jealous at all.
Anyway, back to the film where, after speaking with a local (blind) art dealer and her camp/creepy son, Arletty is told that a visiting art collector and suave man about town named Thom (Greer from The Gay Deceivers and the Don Johnson starrer The Magic Garden of Stanley Sweetheart) has also been inquiring into the whereabouts of her father in order to not only buy some of his work but learn more about the towns dark past and legends.
Seems legit.
And with that she heads to the local motel to pay him a visit, where she finds Thom sprawled across a bed with his two female 'companions', Toni and Laura (Unwell favourite, star of Night of The Cobra Woman and Peggy Lee Brennan alike Bang alongside Invasion of The Bee Girls star Ford) who are busying themselves drinking and smoking as the local homeless man Charlie (screen stalwart Cook Jr. who) recounts the horrible history of Point Dune.
Those parties your mum and dad used to have when they sent you to bed early. |
Overpowered by the combine stench of Thom's aftershave and Charlie's piss-stained trousers Arletty makes her excuses and leaves only to be cornered by Charlie in the stairwell where he informs her that her father is still alive, but that he has changed and that that if she loves him, she must kill him and burn his body.
Which is nice.
And with that Arletty goes to do a wee bit of shopping leaving poor Charlie to be butchered (to death) offscreen.
Thom: He's got something to put in you. |
Returning to her dads house later that afternoon and with a huge baguette under her arm Arletty is surprised to find not just Thom but also his lady friends laid out on the sofa and scoffing all her biscuits.
This odd turn of events gives Thom ample opportunity to attempt to persuade Arletty to let him have a fiddle in her pants which in turn gives Laura a reason to jealously storm out of the house and hitch a ride into town with Mr albino eventually ending up in an empty supermarket where she's stalked around the shelves before being overpowered by and eaten by the townsfolk in the fabric conditioner section.
"Are you local?" |
Back at the house Thom and Arletty are busy reading her dads diaries for more information on the blood moon, whilst Toni sits about complaining smoking and flashing her arse at anyone who cares to notice.
But all this bum baiting and book reading is cut short when the local police turn up to inform Arletty that her dads body has been found on the beach, crushed under the collapsed remains of a childrens climbing frame.
Joy Bang: Arse. |
Aretty is not convinced tho' as her dad had well manicured hands and the corpse has big fat sausage fingers and with that her and Thom decide to search for him down the back of the sofa whilst Toni decides to go into town to watch a movie.
In this case the 1974 western Gone with the West.
Sitting alone in the cinema Toni fails to notice as the townfolk - all bleeding from one eye - slowly and silently take their seats around her, waiting for the film to end before circling her and eating her whole.*
As night falls the blood moon
rises and the remaining town's residents transform into flesh hungry ghouls, Arletty and Thom listen intently to a recording of Charlie retelling the story of a literal Messiah of Evil who visited the town a century before - a former minister and a Donner Party
survivor who arrived to proclaim a new religion as the moon turned blood red and the townsfolk began hungering
for human flesh before walking into the ocean vowing to return this very night to lead his flock to freedom.
And with that Thom realises that Toni is missing and heads out to save her, soon finding himself dodging cannibalistic townies and riot police as the whole town is quickly engulfed by carnage and bri-nylon slacked ghouls.
A wee bit like Dudley town centre on a Saturday night.
Back at the house Arletty is (finally) visited by her father, who begs her to leave and warn the world about Point Dune's curse before attempting to kill her as his cannibalistic urges take control.
Arletty responds by stabbings him with a pair of rusty garden shears before setting fire to him just as Thom returns.
But it appears to be too late for Arletty, as she's already bleeding from her eye, complaining about being unable to feel pain or the cold and puking up worms but Thom is convinced he can save her so the pair head out toward the coast in the hope of evading the townsfolk and finding help....
Most famous for appearing on a marquee in the Woody Allen film Annie Hall, Willard Huyck and Gloria Katz's classic Messiah of Evil is, alongside Carnival of Souls, one of the greatest low budget horror shockers of all time.
Mixing the haunting feel of Edgar Allan Poe with the cosmic horrors of HP Lovecraft and undead vibes of George A Romero the pair deliver a film that is as surreal and disturbing as it is scarily unsettling.
Even some of the 'non'-performances from certain members of the cast seem to suit the whole wild endeavor and the set design, lighting and art direction rival Mario Bava at his best at times.
Seriously it's that good.
Supermarket Sweep. |
Playing out like some drug induced fever dream, the films lack of logic and reason only adds to it's impact and its influence can be found in everything from Twin Peaks to The League of Gentlemen with its 'special stuff' obsessed face bleeding towns folk and stilted almost stage performances and the aforementioned cinema scene, alongside Laura's stalking thru' the supermarket are two of the most effective and unnerving scenes in horror history.
What more can I say?
If you've not seen it, go watch it now and thank me later.
*No they don't spit that bit out.
Posted by Ashton Lamont at 11:28 AM 0 comments
Labels: 31 days of horror, alcohol, bizarre, cannibal, film, forgotten, haircut, homemade, reviews, scares, the horror, zombies
This has been sitting on my shelf for years when I suddenly realised I'd never seen it before so thought what better time to review it than for this years 31 Days of Horror?
All I can say to you is keep away from the skull of the Marquis de Sade! |
The Skull (1965).
Dir: Freddie Francis.
Cast: Peter Cushing, Patrick Wymark, Christopher Lee, Jill Bennett, Nigel Green, Patrick Magee, Peter Woodthorpe, Michael Gough, George Coulouris, April Olrich and Maurice Good.
Our terrifying tale opens in a fog-filled graveyard somewhere in France (well I say somewhere but it's actually Épernon which lies some 27 kilometres northeast of Chartres, at the
confluence of the Drouette and the Guesle, fact fans) in the year 1814 - tho' that might just be the time - where full-time phrenologist and part-time Tom Jones impersonator Pierre Soontodie (Good, Phineas Clanton himself from that 60s Doctor Who classic The Gunfighters) is busying himself exhuming the corpse of that well-known perv-miester Donatien Alphonse François - AKA Marquis de Sade in order to study his skull for signs of mentalism.
No really.
Heading back home with the head in a bin bag Pierre is surprised to discover his sexy shouldered yet unfortunately unnamed mistress (Olrich whose biggest roles were as a party guest in Supergirl and as the bespectacled beauty Desiree in the 70s TeeVee 'classic' Roberts Robots) sprawled across his bed scoffing marshmallows.
Tho' to be honest I'd be pretty surprised to find myself in this situation seeing as although the recipe for marshmallows was invented by the ancient Egyptians, the weren't produced in their present form until 1850.
And it's this blatant disregard for historical accuracy that obviously causes him to push the Parisian strumpet aside and head straight into his makeshift laboratory to clean the skull of all its flesh.
Three bags of marshmallows later and his French fancy is still sprawled across the bed awaiting the attentions of Pierre when she notices plumes of strange coloured smoke emanating from under the laboratory door and being curious/bored/French/ decides to investigate only to find her lover drowned in the same vat of liquids he used to clean the skull as the skull itself peers (as skulls do) from a nearby shelf...
Bloody Hell it's Fred Titmuss! |
Jumping forward to the present(ish) day (well 1965 so technically the past, spooky) we soon find ourselves - as in we're watching on the screen not in a Star Trek transporter type way, you get the idea - in a stuffy auction house where Michael Gough (obviously with an afternoon free) is refereeing a bidding war 'tween the eminent occult expert Dr. Christopher Maitland (Cushing) and the slightly less-eminent occult collector Sir Matthew Phillips as they battle to see who will spend the most cash on a set of four knock-off Gorillaz figures.
Phillips, being richer than Maitland - and it seems in a trance - wins out, paying double what the figures are actually worth yet seems to have no recollection of doing so and on that bombshell goes home leaving Maitland to drown his sorrows with the dodgy antique dealer Anthony Marco (genre stalwart Wymark) well known around the antique/occult circuit for acquiring rare items by any means necessary (including theft and probably offering sweet, sweet kisses) who offers him a rare book bound in human flesh (but not that one) for a princely £100 and a packet of Haribo.
"Can you see my bra?" |
The book, it seems, is a complete horrible history of the Marquis and his erotically charged occult shenanigans and just to prove the point we get a spooky flashback to see what became of the marshmallow munching MILF from earlier when Pierre's solicitor, Dr. Londe (Coulouris from loads of stuff) turns up to sort out the dead mans affairs.
Oh and after seeing the skull on the shelf, stab the lady to death.
Maitland is understandably intrigued by the book and excitedly hands over the cash but Marco has an ace up his sleeve.
And by that I mean the actually skull in question, in a Londis bag under his jacket.
And he's willing to part with it for a grand.
Or maybe even 500 quid.
Bargain.
Unfortunately Maitland isn't convinced (I mean let's be honest, most skulls look the same, except mine obviously seeing as I have a fucking huge head) so decides to discuss the proposition with Phillips that very night over their weekly billiards game.
"Put it in me!" |
Fiddling self-consciously with his balls Phillips admits to Maitland that the skull is in fact the genuine article as Marco actually stole it from him in the first place but is reluctant to press charges as the skull had spooky powers that took him over and compelled him to purchase over-priced statues at the auction and the like in order to stage a demonic sacrifice style ritual over the next few days.
Sounds legit.
Anyway Phillips is convinced that the evil entity residing in the skull is the same force that compelled the Marquis de Sade to commit all that bad stuff and pleads with Maitland not to buy it.
Now convinced that the skull is worth having, Maitland heads home to prepare a space on the shelf and to take a deeper dive into the Marquis only to be disturbed (during a particularly juicy bit) by a knock on the door.
Maitland answers only to be confronted by two (tiny) fedora wearing besuited blokes (less men in black more blokes from Barnardos) who roughly arrest him before bunging him in the back of a police car and driving him to a big house where he's forced to play Russian Roulette by a grinning judge as the walls close in around him and acrid smoke appears from nowhere.
Tho' to be far compared to some of the stuff the police get up to in the UK (I'm still looking at you Lesbian Nana - among others) Maitland gets off lightly.
A Lesbian Nana licking piss off John Nettles yesterday. |
Suddenly Maitland wakes with a scream, yup it was all a dream but somehow he's woken in Marco's flat (and his trousers are on backwards) so without further ado he sneaks out and hurries home to explain his bedtime absence to his permanently bewildered wife Jane (button-nosed Bennett)and to get the cash to finally buy the skull.
Unfortunately when he returns (again) he finds Marco dead behind the door so quickly hides the skull in a cupboard to collect later before calling the police - who arrive in the form of cult favourites Patrick (WINE?) McGee and Nigel (Jason and the Argonauts, Zulu, Tobruk and The Ipcress File) Green - who conclude that Marco was killed (to death) by a wild dog or a very angry stoat due to his throat being ripped out.
Dirty nailed landlord Bert (Woodthorpe, the voice of Pigsy in Monkey) disagrees with this tho' seeing as he doesn't allow pets in the house.
Which is fair enough I guess.
Not that his opinion matters much seeing as later that night when he returns to retrieve the skull Maitland accidentally kills Bert by pushing him over a banister.
He then heads home to keep watch over the skull in order to see what funny japes it'll get up to.
Cue twenty (very) odd minutes of Cushing gurning and screaming whilst trying to stab his sleeping wife as the skull attempts to possess him...
It is you know. |
With a plot (from Robert Bloch's - very - short story "The Skull of the Marquis de Sade") stretched almost to breaking point by producer-screenwriter Milton Subotsky, The Skull is a lean, mean and genuinely nightmarish (at times) thriller that for the most part relies solely on the acting prowess of Cushing (and a couple of really cool 'skulls eye view' moments) to keep the viewers entertained.
And incredibly it works.
A modern - for the time - British-based gothic horror that isn't afraid to channel the likes of classics such as The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari alongside the then current trend for psychological horror over the supernatural (before cheekily melding the two) to produce a taut and terrifying little thriller that's a forgotten gem in the Amicus crown.
Plus it's a nice wee change of pace to the usual Amicus anthology 'orrors.
Eye son. |
Fantastically - and simply - staged and with fantastic cinematography - the skulls eye view scene are a particularly creepy stand out - whilst Freddie Francis' direction is never better add to that the music by Elisabeth Lutyens' (the first female British composer to score a feature film, fact fans) and you have a perfect example of British gothic horror at it's finest.
Posted by Ashton Lamont at 8:00 AM 0 comments
Labels: 31 days of horror, alcohol, bizarre, film, horror, reviews, scares, the horror