Thursday, April 16, 2009

people you fancy but shouldn't (part the 11).

This time round a true confession from the high priest of celluloid sleaze himself, The Vicar of VHS who secretly admitted his love for the ginger princess of undercover action Kim Possible.

This is dedicated to you sir.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

advice of the day.

Nuff said?

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

stitch this.

Just arrived at the Arena, the teaser trailer for the God-like Alan (Jesus Vs. The Messiah) Ronald's 'STITCHGIRL' segment of 'BORDELLO DEATH TALES' the new horror anthology from Jinx Media and Amber Pictures.

And you can see it here and whilst you're waiting for the film's release read on and enjoy the directors answers to the very first Unwell inquisition.

1. Live and let die or a nice, hot pie?

Strangely enough this is exactly the same opening question they asked me in the hospital. I opted for pie.

2. Junk, funk, punk or Chunk?

Chunk with a capital 'C'? I assume therefore you are referring to 'the' Chunk. Sloth loves the mooth.

3. Papa’s got a brand new….

love for model trains.

4. Eastwood ho! Westwood ho!

Northwood! hm?

5. These boots were made for walking.

But only with the addition of feet.

6. Black Friday, blue Monday?

What is next in this sequence?

7. Days of wine and roses, days of Pearly Spencer or day of the dead?

You sure know how to treat a lady!

8. The girl, the body or the pill?

All three, but not necessarily in that order.

9. Bates motel, motel hell, hotel California.

Which one has a mini bar?

10. things I hate about…..

Jesus taught me never to hate...bastard.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

luke who's talking.

From 1974, my real dad speaks!



march stiffs.

It's that time of the month again when we say goodbye to all the Unwell faves who've passed away in the last month.

First up, British comedienne and singer Joan Turner. Widely regarded as one of the 60's most brilliant comediennes who was famed for her soprano voice and biting wit which she showcased alongside Tony Hancock and Eric Sykes among others.


Ali Bongo, British comedy magician and president of The Magic Circle. With his famous catchphrases like "My name is Ali Bongo and I come from Pongo, pong-tiddley-pongo land.", "Uju Buju Suck Another Juju", "Aldy Bority Phostico Formio" and "Hocus Pocus Fishbones Chokus"he acted as magic consultant for many classic TV shows including The David Nixon Magic Show, Jonathan Creek and The Paul Daniels Magic Show as well as appearing in shows such as Rainbow, The Tomorrow People (in the serial "Revenge of Jedikiah") and Ace of Wands.

His greatest honour tho' must have been when he was cited in a song by Half Man Half Biscuit: "My story seems so tragic, Ali Bongo's good at contortionism. He's much better Than David Nixon ever was..."


Alan W. Livingston, the creator of Bozo the clown also died (of old age so that's ok I guess).



As did Terence Edmond whose character in Z Cars PC Ian Sweet, was killed off in an episode of the police drama transmitted live in 1964 to the shock of his many fans.

The fictional PC drowned after an heroic but ill-advised attempt to save a young boy (not from Bozo the Clown tho').


Maurice Jarre, the Academy Award-winning composer of such top scores as Lawrence of Arabia and Dr. Zhivago also breathed his last alongside the great Andy Hallett, who starred as Lorne (the Host) on the TV series Angel at the shockingly young age of 33.