people you fancy but shouldn't (part 60).

The tunefully tonsilled tempress behind the top pop hit Like A Bird  and (slightly) less media loving daughter of the next president of the good old USA, Ms Tiffany Ariana Trump.

 But why? I hear you cry.

Just bear with me.

You can just imagine the scene when Donald gets elected President and he stands on his solid gold T shaped podium declaring that anyone not conforming to the new "Greater America" laws he's created will be stripped of their citizenship and deported to, um I don't know let's just say Los Angeles (hopefully a huge earthquake will separate it from the mainland to make it easier).

Flash forward a few months to his unhappy daughter who, disillusioned with her failing pop career falls in with the left-wing revolutionary Russell 'Che' Brand and legs it to La taking not only the codes to the USA's nuclear arsenal but also the secret formula that gives her dads hair it's natural shine.

You know this is gonna happen.

Only question is who will he send in to track her down?

My money's on disgraced former athlete cum celebrity for hire Caitlin Jenner in a  diamante eye patch and Kanye West designed combats.

Well either her or Joey Lawrence.